Where it all began...
April 2nd, 2020

Where it all began...

Diary extract: 21st February 2019

After 4 weeks of mammograms, biopsies and appointments I have been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, I already hate the word 'invasive' it sounds so powerful, like it's in control. Last time I had cancer it shattered my self esteem, I felt as if people were defining me by it and I don't want to go back to that place, I don't want to be a victim. But I'm honestly terrified, I'm putting an act on all of the time, trying to be strong at home in front of my girls, not wanting to break down at work and acting positive when I don't feel it, I'm exhausted.

So that's where it all started, around the middle of January 2019 a routine mammogram revealed a problem and four weeks later my world was turned upside down. Even before my operation I'd started to think about running Hadrians wall and the fundraising that would go with it. As I read my diary now it was such an important focus for me to have, it gave me confidence and hope. I could never have imagined what that idea would turn into a year on 💜.

I've loved getting to know the members of GFR better and spending more time with them. The 'committee' are the very best humans I could wish for, I will forever remember this time of my life because of you 💜 I also feel so blessed for the support from the Harriers and the Tri club. The fundraising has gone crazy 😝 I must admit I didn't realise what would be involved in trying to raise £50,000 but I certainly do now, and I've got to say a huge thank you to everyone that has helped with our events and competitions, you are just incredible. It's hard to pick out a favourite moment, but I think the park run take over event was quite special and very emotional for all involved.

\ So making the call to postpone Run the Wall by a full year was pretty tough, not that we had a choice in the end, but still a hard realisation to come to terms with. I'm not going to lie, the training has been hard at times over the winter, but I managed to stay motivated and put in good mileage because it was all building towards the event. And now....well there has definitely been a slump, but I'm coming out the other side and feeling excited for our virtual relay starting on the 23rd May and spanning the whole original weekend of RTW. I think we've all felt discombobulated these last few weeks so shouldn't give ourselves a hard time if the training has slipped. I'm actually a little bit excited too that I get to keep working on RTW with so many wonderful people for another year!

Diary extract: 24th April 2019

I'm struggling with a strange emotion today, I feel guilt. And I've been feeling it since I got the news that the cancer hasn't reached my lymph nodes, therefore no chemotherapy needed. I know this is completely ridiculous but I can't seem to shake it. Right now there are wonderful people, with everything to live for, and gorgeous children to watch grow up, being told the very worst news imaginable. I feel so close to that pain that I can't stop feeling sad.

RTW has helped to remove some of that pain, but I think there will always be a little there, just behind the scenes and perhaps that's a good thing, perhaps we all need pain to push us to do things, to make us appreciate all that we have and to encourage us to live our best lives, I think that's more relevant today than ever 💜


We'd love to hear how you got involved in RTW, your training stories and your journey towards May 2021. We will share these leading up to the event. If you'd like to write our next blog please let us know 💜